redbull34th (redbull34th (Related) redbull34th ) wrote,
@ 2007 (Related) -05 (Related) -01 (Related) 11:35:00
TOOSin' it up on Tuesday
Tuesday again, Apple Time is fast approaching but I forgot my apple today. I may travel upstairs to see if I can procure one from the cafeteria.
So, weekend was good but there was a lot of running around, a lot of driving. We were originally slated to drive down on Friday night, but I was beat. I was just too tired. I got up on Saturday and tried to get stuff ready, we finally got on the road. I drove because Danielle was tired and because I like to drive. I drove the 4 hours to Philadelphia. Then, I drove the hour and a half to New Jersey. I drove probably another 30-45 mins when I really started to crash(it was like 2 or 3 AM). I just couldn't stay awake any longer. Danielle drove the rest of the way back to Philadelphia. I drove the 4 hours back from Philadelphia on Sunday. Drive, Drive, Drive. More and more scheduled for this weekend. My life behind the wheel.
It was kind of nice to see the people from Philadelphia whom I haven't seen for a year or more. They've changed, though, everyone and everything changes. I talked to Dad one time about friends and "the old days". He told me a story about "the old days" when he had all the friends at Gallitzin Fire Company, and how one of them suggested they "get the gang back together". Dad said it wouldn't be the same. The old days are just that... gone forever. You can get all the characters back together, but the chances of recreating what once was is slim-to-none. I look back to the days when we first met the Philly Crew and recall them as a few happy times that I'll likely remember forever. That doesn't mean I secretly want to "get the band back together" or whatever, I just mean that those were some good times. Now, people are doing different things. Some changed, some stayed the same. Danielle and I had to change. Those guys, they changed too. Standing in the room with them and all the guys coughing every few minutes, their eyes boring a hole in me as they quietly plead with me to leave so they can smoke up. Hearing the secret stories about how some are living the no responsibility life, one drug at a time. How they've failed or come through for each other. I just think about the friendship they believe they have with their compatriots, and I wonder if they would be surprised if the friendship was actually put to the test and failed. Have they noticed that some of their friends have slipped away? Do they care? They're fun people, always good for a laugh. I'm always happy to see them. I'm just disappointed that these individuals full of so much potential are on the stairway to nowhere, voluntarily. Gavin talked to me about no regrets. I hope he gets there.
Yesterday was busy/bad. Work was tough. I have some problems and there just aren't easy fixes. While it's nice to be out of the realm of the mundane and into the world of abstract thinking, it makes me miss Mike. Whenever I had a bad problem, I knew I could count on him for advice or guidance. If I was really lucky, and the pooch was really screwed, he would get to come down and visit while we tried to fix it. I have a pretty big problem and it's hard to focus when I think about the fact that he and I set up the thing that is broken, and how many times he bailed me out. I wish he was able to ask for some kind of help, I wish he was wired to say "I can't take this anymore, I need some help" and I wish he had known that I would have dropped everything to be there for him because I owed him and because I wanted him to know that I'm his friend. Instead, I just get to try to think of an awkward way to fondly recall his memory. The biggest problem with the problem is that it involved me driving a bunch. As zany as the Aquabats are, they can't distract my thoughts during the 20 minute drive(x 4) to and from the problem site, and the 30 minute drive(x 2) to and from home. Sometimes I get pissed off at him, sometimes I just feel bad. Most of the time, I just miss my friend. I have to get out of this line of work, I need to do something I love. I think the scariest thing is that I can see myself in Mike's shoes and I just have to get away from that. Mike's the second suicide in the Users Group in the past year. Who's next?
To top it all off I have this "recommended (read: mandatory) training" today for a product that I won't be using. 2.5 days of bullshit for nothing. I hypothesize that Dr. Nazi, our Superintendent, somehow believes that everyone is screwing the school district out of money. The funny thing is that if Dr. Nazi used his noodle when it came to spending $$$ on training I don't need/won't use he may find that the exorbinant spending by upper echelon staff could possibly account for much of this "wasted funds". They won't hire a secretary for the Maintenance Department because they don't want to "create a position", but they'll add another 6 figure administrator that didn't exist before. If you add a position that didn't exist before, isn't that the same as creating a position? Maybe it's not, and maybe that's why I don't have a "Dr." in front of my name. He'll be leaving in a few months to do I-don't-care-what. And then we'll get another Superintendent. Maybe better, probably worse. We've had 4 Superintendents in the past year. That's what I call "turnover".
I had an idea for an invention the other day. It's basically an alarm clock that's a collar for your pet. When the alarm goes off and you try to "hit the snooze", the alarm clock will avoid you, or else meow/bark at you. I scrapped the idea when I realized it would simply be advocating half-conscious animal abuse. I don't want that on my conscience. If someone else(without a conscience) wants to take the idea and run with it, that's cool. Just keep my name out of the press.
I'm back on track with the diet/exercise thing. I've been doing additional research and kind of tightening the reigns as of recently, I want to make my goal by the end of June. But I've learned/identified some things that weren't mentioned in any of my readings:
1.) The Sensei: Some people have tips and they're going to share it with you, regardless of their qualifications. When I explained the diet I researched and planned out(recommended by Doctors and fitness professionals) to one person, they immediately refuted it. "It's not good to eat the same thing every day." Who should I believe? My doctor and my research, or Joe Blow from Kokomo? Would you buy a fitness/workout video by Danny Devito? (Sorry Danny, I love your stuff. You'll always be "The Penguin" to me!)
2.) The Party Pooper: Most of the time, when people recognize your progress, it is an uplifting and affirming moment. "My hard work has finally paid off! I feel good and people can notice that I've worked hard to get to this point." Some people, however, find it extremely easy to just kick the wind out of your sails. I've had a bunch of people say "Oh, it's just because men lose weight so much easier." or "...insert some other phrase to discredit your hard work..." Fuck you, buddy, I wake up and work my ass off every day at this. Every day is a battle. I'm hungry as hell sometimes, and I just want to eat 30 cheeseburgers and pass out. Some days I want to buy a carton of cigarettes and smoke until I sound like Sam Elliott(although those days have long since gone). I've cut a lot of things out that I used to love to eat/do on a daily/weekly basis. I know what's good for me and what's not, and I want to be healthy. At least give me some credit.
3.) The Misconception: "I wish I could do what you're doing." Guess what? You can! You just have to make a decision and commit to it. When I was heavier, I used to get upset when I felt fat. I used to YEARN for someone to just straight up lie to me and say that I'm not, that I'm husky or whatever. I wanted to lose weight, but I didn't want to change anything to make it happen. I just wanted to wake up some day and have it all be gone. I guess that's why the weight-loss industry makes the mad $$$ selling pills and such. All it takes is two steps: Decide and Commit . Stick to it, even when it's tough, or when it hurts, or when you're tired, or when it's easy NOT to do it. Stick to it when you're out with friends, or when you're all alone, or when you're out of town. If you break it, don't get discouraged, get back on track as soon as possible. Fitness equipment is some of the easiest stuff to find used, because while new equipment is constantly being manufactured, they still can't produce committment. Cigarette/Nicotine addiction is likened to Heroin addiction, some say it's more significant. I smoked more/longer than most did, and I decided I wanted to quit and I quit. That's it, no gum, no pills, no patches. I just stopped.
4.) The Skeptic: A friend of ours recently told us that he's had to make some significant dietary changes due to the recent discovery of some health problems. One of the things he had to stop was his intake of High Fructcose Corn Syrup, and that when he has it now, it's so sweet that he can't even stand it. I was "the skeptic". High Fructcose Corn Syrup is in everything, I thought to myself, how can it be "too sweet"? I (unknowingly) had removed high fructcose corn syrup from my diet when I switched to diet sodas, dropped a lot of foods from my diet. One day at Pump Ops class, I put money in the soda machine and pressed the button for a water. The soda machine spit out a Barq's Rootbeer. Now, I have been a long time root beer advocate, but I have not had anything but diet rootbeer for months. Feeling like it'd be OK, just this once, I opened the Barq's and took a nice, slow sip. It was so sweet I almost puked. It felt like I was drinking rootbeer flavored concentrated sugar syrup. I tried to finish it, but I just couldn't do it. I drank about 1/4 of it, then I gave it to my Dad and walked across the street to a convenience store to get some water. I was blown away. HFCS is in everything, even in bread, next time you eat something sweet - take a peek to see if HFCS is in it. If it is, take my challenge: don't eat anything with HFCS in it for like a week, then try it again. See if you notice a difference in the taste.
Anyway, time to eat some food before this waste-of-my-life training event starts.
Have a great day, everyone.
Tuesday again, Apple Time is fast approaching but I forgot my apple today. I may travel upstairs to see if I can procure one from the cafeteria.
So, weekend was good but there was a lot of running around, a lot of driving. We were originally slated to drive down on Friday night, but I was beat. I was just too tired. I got up on Saturday and tried to get stuff ready, we finally got on the road. I drove because Danielle was tired and because I like to drive. I drove the 4 hours to Philadelphia. Then, I drove the hour and a half to New Jersey. I drove probably another 30-45 mins when I really started to crash(it was like 2 or 3 AM). I just couldn't stay awake any longer. Danielle drove the rest of the way back to Philadelphia. I drove the 4 hours back from Philadelphia on Sunday. Drive, Drive, Drive. More and more scheduled for this weekend. My life behind the wheel.
It was kind of nice to see the people from Philadelphia whom I haven't seen for a year or more. They've changed, though, everyone and everything changes. I talked to Dad one time about friends and "the old days". He told me a story about "the old days" when he had all the friends at Gallitzin Fire Company, and how one of them suggested they "get the gang back together". Dad said it wouldn't be the same. The old days are just that... gone forever. You can get all the characters back together, but the chances of recreating what once was is slim-to-none. I look back to the days when we first met the Philly Crew and recall them as a few happy times that I'll likely remember forever. That doesn't mean I secretly want to "get the band back together" or whatever, I just mean that those were some good times. Now, people are doing different things. Some changed, some stayed the same. Danielle and I had to change. Those guys, they changed too. Standing in the room with them and all the guys coughing every few minutes, their eyes boring a hole in me as they quietly plead with me to leave so they can smoke up. Hearing the secret stories about how some are living the no responsibility life, one drug at a time. How they've failed or come through for each other. I just think about the friendship they believe they have with their compatriots, and I wonder if they would be surprised if the friendship was actually put to the test and failed. Have they noticed that some of their friends have slipped away? Do they care? They're fun people, always good for a laugh. I'm always happy to see them. I'm just disappointed that these individuals full of so much potential are on the stairway to nowhere, voluntarily. Gavin talked to me about no regrets. I hope he gets there.
Yesterday was busy/bad. Work was tough. I have some problems and there just aren't easy fixes. While it's nice to be out of the realm of the mundane and into the world of abstract thinking, it makes me miss Mike. Whenever I had a bad problem, I knew I could count on him for advice or guidance. If I was really lucky, and the pooch was really screwed, he would get to come down and visit while we tried to fix it. I have a pretty big problem and it's hard to focus when I think about the fact that he and I set up the thing that is broken, and how many times he bailed me out. I wish he was able to ask for some kind of help, I wish he was wired to say "I can't take this anymore, I need some help" and I wish he had known that I would have dropped everything to be there for him because I owed him and because I wanted him to know that I'm his friend. Instead, I just get to try to think of an awkward way to fondly recall his memory. The biggest problem with the problem is that it involved me driving a bunch. As zany as the Aquabats are, they can't distract my thoughts during the 20 minute drive(x 4) to and from the problem site, and the 30 minute drive(x 2) to and from home. Sometimes I get pissed off at him, sometimes I just feel bad. Most of the time, I just miss my friend. I have to get out of this line of work, I need to do something I love. I think the scariest thing is that I can see myself in Mike's shoes and I just have to get away from that. Mike's the second suicide in the Users Group in the past year. Who's next?
To top it all off I have this "recommended (read: mandatory) training" today for a product that I won't be using. 2.5 days of bullshit for nothing. I hypothesize that Dr. Nazi, our Superintendent, somehow believes that everyone is screwing the school district out of money. The funny thing is that if Dr. Nazi used his noodle when it came to spending $$$ on training I don't need/won't use he may find that the exorbinant spending by upper echelon staff could possibly account for much of this "wasted funds". They won't hire a secretary for the Maintenance Department because they don't want to "create a position", but they'll add another 6 figure administrator that didn't exist before. If you add a position that didn't exist before, isn't that the same as creating a position? Maybe it's not, and maybe that's why I don't have a "Dr." in front of my name. He'll be leaving in a few months to do I-don't-care-what. And then we'll get another Superintendent. Maybe better, probably worse. We've had 4 Superintendents in the past year. That's what I call "turnover".
I had an idea for an invention the other day. It's basically an alarm clock that's a collar for your pet. When the alarm goes off and you try to "hit the snooze", the alarm clock will avoid you, or else meow/bark at you. I scrapped the idea when I realized it would simply be advocating half-conscious animal abuse. I don't want that on my conscience. If someone else(without a conscience) wants to take the idea and run with it, that's cool. Just keep my name out of the press.
I'm back on track with the diet/exercise thing. I've been doing additional research and kind of tightening the reigns as of recently, I want to make my goal by the end of June. But I've learned/identified some things that weren't mentioned in any of my readings:
1.) The Sensei: Some people have tips and they're going to share it with you, regardless of their qualifications. When I explained the diet I researched and planned out(recommended by Doctors and fitness professionals) to one person, they immediately refuted it. "It's not good to eat the same thing every day." Who should I believe? My doctor and my research, or Joe Blow from Kokomo? Would you buy a fitness/workout video by Danny Devito? (Sorry Danny, I love your stuff. You'll always be "The Penguin" to me!)
2.) The Party Pooper: Most of the time, when people recognize your progress, it is an uplifting and affirming moment. "My hard work has finally paid off! I feel good and people can notice that I've worked hard to get to this point." Some people, however, find it extremely easy to just kick the wind out of your sails. I've had a bunch of people say "Oh, it's just because men lose weight so much easier." or "...insert some other phrase to discredit your hard work..." Fuck you, buddy, I wake up and work my ass off every day at this. Every day is a battle. I'm hungry as hell sometimes, and I just want to eat 30 cheeseburgers and pass out. Some days I want to buy a carton of cigarettes and smoke until I sound like Sam Elliott(although those days have long since gone). I've cut a lot of things out that I used to love to eat/do on a daily/weekly basis. I know what's good for me and what's not, and I want to be healthy. At least give me some credit.
3.) The Misconception: "I wish I could do what you're doing." Guess what? You can! You just have to make a decision and commit to it. When I was heavier, I used to get upset when I felt fat. I used to YEARN for someone to just straight up lie to me and say that I'm not, that I'm husky or whatever. I wanted to lose weight, but I didn't want to change anything to make it happen. I just wanted to wake up some day and have it all be gone. I guess that's why the weight-loss industry makes the mad $$$ selling pills and such. All it takes is two steps: Decide and Commit . Stick to it, even when it's tough, or when it hurts, or when you're tired, or when it's easy NOT to do it. Stick to it when you're out with friends, or when you're all alone, or when you're out of town. If you break it, don't get discouraged, get back on track as soon as possible. Fitness equipment is some of the easiest stuff to find used, because while new equipment is constantly being manufactured, they still can't produce committment. Cigarette/Nicotine addiction is likened to Heroin addiction, some say it's more significant. I smoked more/longer than most did, and I decided I wanted to quit and I quit. That's it, no gum, no pills, no patches. I just stopped.
4.) The Skeptic: A friend of ours recently told us that he's had to make some significant dietary changes due to the recent discovery of some health problems. One of the things he had to stop was his intake of High Fructcose Corn Syrup, and that when he has it now, it's so sweet that he can't even stand it. I was "the skeptic". High Fructcose Corn Syrup is in everything, I thought to myself, how can it be "too sweet"? I (unknowingly) had removed high fructcose corn syrup from my diet when I switched to diet sodas, dropped a lot of foods from my diet. One day at Pump Ops class, I put money in the soda machine and pressed the button for a water. The soda machine spit out a Barq's Rootbeer. Now, I have been a long time root beer advocate, but I have not had anything but diet rootbeer for months. Feeling like it'd be OK, just this once, I opened the Barq's and took a nice, slow sip. It was so sweet I almost puked. It felt like I was drinking rootbeer flavored concentrated sugar syrup. I tried to finish it, but I just couldn't do it. I drank about 1/4 of it, then I gave it to my Dad and walked across the street to a convenience store to get some water. I was blown away. HFCS is in everything, even in bread, next time you eat something sweet - take a peek to see if HFCS is in it. If it is, take my challenge: don't eat anything with HFCS in it for like a week, then try it again. See if you notice a difference in the taste.
Anyway, time to eat some food before this waste-of-my-life training event starts.
Have a great day, everyone.
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